This website is dedicated to the posting of my three essays for Freshman Composition (ENG101) for Fall 2014 at Suffolk County Community College, serving purpose as an online portfolio. This site consists of two (standard) essays and one research paper essay. This online portfolio conveys the progression through each revised essay along with web enhanced integration/optimization.
In essay one, the assignment was to write an essay based on the topic pertaining to criminality which i expanded into victimization and the exploitation of the institution. In this essay, i didn’t have any structure of how i wrote and organized the information. One thing i did that was good was backing my sub-topic with details from the book and linking both towards the main topic as well as staying on point with the objectives (defining a criminal, what a criminal is in today’s society, etc.). What i had done that was bad was not stay consistent by citing the topics but then discussing them in a disorganized order.In my revision, i improved my essay by removing redundancy and keeping consistency with the order of topics mentioned (rearrangement).
In essay two, the assignment was to write an essay based on social privacy/media and how it has impacted today’s society. Like essay one, i did not have a set structure either. I think i pushed good points in the objective but I didn’t elaborate on key points that were cited off my own notions and used a good web source for backing the topic up. What I had done wrong was go off-track on the subtopics several times and developed my paragraph (specifically paragraph 2) into a long mash of information when it could have been broken up into two subtopics. In my revision, I rephrased and removed unnecessary formatting.
In essay three, the assignment was to write a research essay based on a sector on the internet. Unlike essay one and two, i DID have a structure set for this essay. I setup three sections of which i split the topic up (and dumped the information) into- political, social, and economic impacts. I think I developed each section to a sufficient point but not well enough that I had enough information for each section. Socially was the easiest section while the other two had little information. I also forgot to citations, lacked transitions, and had comma splices. In my revision, I fixed all the citations, smoothed through the transitions where it was recommended to me (by teacher and peers), and fixed my comma splice error.